bmwkraftur.is

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"




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Ung ljóska kom heim og sagði móður sinni að hún sé barnshafandi.
- Ooh! elsku barnið mitt!
Og þú veist líklega ekki hver faðirinn er, ef ég þekki þig rétt?
- Jú auðvitað mamma, ég veit það.
Hann er þýskur og heitir Auf wiedersehen ………


Fyrir þá sem ekki vita.
Auf wiedersehen = Við sjáumst.

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Sigurjón Sigurjónsson '77
Dodge Dakota Sport '97 5,2 Daily driver
Husqarna TE 450 '07 (Enduro og Supermoto)
Subaru Leggjasig Wagon. '97
Subaru Leggjasig Wagon. '90

Hommi labbaði inná tatto stofu og bað um að fá tatto af jeppa á tippið á sér... tatto karlinn brosti og sagði,ertu með eitthvern ákveðinn jeppa í huga? Nei sagði þá homminn en hafðu hann bara fjórhjóladrifinn hann á eftir að vaða í mikilli drullu

Traktor útgáfan af þessum brandara(neðst á síðu númer sjö) er betri

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Nútíðin:
E34 Touring '93 > R.I.P.
E34 530iT '95
Þátíðin:
E32 735i '89 ND-020
E30 325iC '89 AN-309
E30 318i '88 JS-554
E34 525iA '94 OZ-390
E28 518i '87 IT- 629
E46 318i '00 TB-590

Hahaha ja sá það núna... BIG FAIL hja mér sá þennan með jeppann á fésinu í gær og ákvað að henda honum hérna inn

My girlfriend was in labor with our first child.
She was shouting
"Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!"
She looked at me and yelled
"You did this to me, you bastard!"
I casually replied: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it
up your ass but you said ''That would hurt too much''.

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Mazda2 '15
Mercedes Benz 300E 4Matic '89
enginn BMW í augnablikinu

Haha

Nokkur góð komment frá bandarískum umferðarlöggum.

16. You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.
15. Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.
14. If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birthcertificate a worthless document.
13. If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.
12. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that wll be chasing you.
11. You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
10. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help you. Oh, did I mention that I' m the shift supervisor?
9. Warning!!! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
8. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
7. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.
6. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
5. In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
4. How big were those ''two beers'' you say you had?
3. No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
2. I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.

AND THE WINNER IS...


1. You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right mam, we don't, sign here please.
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Mazda2 '15
Mercedes Benz 300E 4Matic '89
enginn BMW í augnablikinu

Jóhanna leigði sér hest í Hafnarfirði og fór í útreiðatúr. Hún hitti Össur sem var í göngutúr, Össur sagði: flottur foli ! Þetta er meri sagði Jóhanna - nei sagði Össur, ég sé tittlinginn á honum. Þá sagði Jóhanna: nú, ég hitti Davíð áðan og hann sagðist aldrei hafa séð jafn ljóta tussu á hesti !

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Róbert Már Róbertsson
BMW 740 E38
BMW 325 E36 "91 (SELDUR)
Gsm: 6150628

Uhhh,, hvað kemur Hafnarfjörður þessum brandara við? haha

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Toyota Rav4 '97 "Special" Seldur
e39 530d touring sport 2003 - ///M-(aður) - Seldur

mikið um hesta í hafnafirði?

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BMW e60 545
Peugeot 306
Toyota Corolla
BMW e36 x3
Mazda 323

u... já og risa hesta slóð sem birjar við hliðiná flótamanna veginum

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afsakið allar stafsetningar villur (er lesblindur)

BMW e36 325is "dundið" (seldur)
BMW e36 318is "daily"
BMW e32 730ia "sá fyrsti" (seldur )

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.

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Mazda2 '15
Mercedes Benz 300E 4Matic '89
enginn BMW í augnablikinu

A horny husband helps his wife set a password on the PC. he typed, MYPENIS. his wife rolled on the floor laughing when it said "sorry not long enough"

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'01 e46 320Ci
Seldir - '96 e39 540i | e36 M50B25 Compact | 99' BMW 316i Compact | '91 e34 520i

7 stafa lykilorð ekki nógu langt?

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Ég þurfti að gefa upp átta til tólf stafa lykilorð til þess að skrá mig á atvinnuleysisbætur í gær.

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Nútíðin:
E34 Touring '93 > R.I.P.
E34 530iT '95
Þátíðin:
E32 735i '89 ND-020
E30 325iC '89 AN-309
E30 318i '88 JS-554
E34 525iA '94 OZ-390
E28 518i '87 IT- 629
E46 318i '00 TB-590