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Acura: Awful,Crappy,Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
Acura: Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
Acura: All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Acura: Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
Acura: Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
Acura: Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?

Audi: Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

Beetle: Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine

BMW: Babbling Mechanical Wench
BMW: Beastly Monstrous Wonder
BMW: Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels (náttla alveg rétt)

BMW: Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BMW: Big Money Waste
BMW: Big Money Works
BMW: Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy.
BMW: Break My Windows
BMW: Broken Money Waster
BMW: Broken Monstrous Wonder
BMW: Brutal Money Waster
BMW: Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
BMW: Big Money Waster
BMW: Blasphemized Motorized Wreck
BMW: Bastard Money Wielders
BMW: Bowel Movement Wagon

Buick: Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Buick: Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Buick: Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean

Camaro: Can't America Make A Real One?

Chevrolet: Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
Chevorlet: Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time

Chevy: Charged Heavily
Chevy: Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

Chrysler: Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Chrysler: Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's

Citroen: Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters

Dodge: Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dodge: Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Dodge: Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere

Datsun: Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips

Fiat: F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
Fiat: Failure in Automotive Technology
Fiat: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fiat: Fix It Again Tony?
Fiat: Fix It All the Time
Fiat: F*ck in a Taxi.

Ford: F**ked over rebuilt Dodge
Ford: F**ker Only Runs Downhill
Ford: F*cked on Race Day
Ford: F*cking Over-Rated Disaster
Ford: F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous
Ford: First On Recall Day
Ford: First on race day
Ford: Fix Or Repair Daily
Ford: Found on road dead
Ford: Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
Ford: F*ckin Owner Real Dumb!!
Ford: (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

GM: General Mistake
GMC: Garage Man's Companion
GMC: Generally Mediocre Cars
GMC: Get More Chicks
GMC: Got More Crap
GMC: Grungy Merchandise
GMC: Got Mechanic Coming

G.T.I.: Got Tossers Inside

Honda: Helping Out Nips Destroying America
Honda: How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
Honda: Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
Honda: Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Honda: Hand Over Dollars to Asians

Jaguar: Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail

Jeep: Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts
Jeep: Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
Jeep: Just Eat Every Pickle.
Jeep: Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
Jeep: Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jeep: Jumps Everything Ever Parked

Mazda: Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly

Mopar: Most Often Passed At Races
Mopar: Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mopar: Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Mopar: Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
Mopar: Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars

Nissan: Now In Some Sh*tty Automobile Nightmare
Nissan: Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon

Oldsmobile: Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
Oldsmobile: Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel

Pinto: Put In New Transmission Often

Plymouth: Pontiac Poor old ni**er thinks it's a Cadillac
Plymouth: Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac

Porsche: Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
Porsche: Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Porsche: Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine
Porsche: Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

Renault: Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash

SAAB: Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies
SAAB: Such an arrogant bastard!
SAAB: Swedish Automobile - Always Broken

Subaru: Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium

Toyota: Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All

Triumph: The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

VW: Very Worthless

STP: Stop Those Pistons.

E.F.I.: Extra F*cking Insurance

BOW TIE: Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines

NAPA: Never Any Parts Available