Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying, "And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" Mr. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this sudden outward display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands, almost sobbing.

Finally, the president looks up and asks, "Just how many is a brazillion, anyway?"

A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and saying a sweet "hello!"

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from.

Finally he says, "Um, do you know me?"

She replies, "I think you're the father of one of my children."

Uh oh....

He thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful and has a sudden recollection of a drunken party.

"My god," he says. "Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I coaxed into a private room with a $50 bill, and then we had sex on the pool table with all my buddies watching from the door while I yelled 'I call the corner pocket!' while you screamed 'Harder, harder!' and 'Deeper, deeper!'?"

She hardly missed a beat when she said "Well, no. I'm your son's math teacher."

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