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Námskeið fyrir konur
https://www.bmwkraftur.is/spjall/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=10506		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Bjarkih [ Fri 13. May 2005 20:38 ]
Post subject:  Námskeið fyrir konur
http://www.jumbojoke.com/000395.html

Women think they already know everything, but wait: training courses are now available for women on several subjects, including...

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem ... Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only[/url]
Author:  Jökull [ Fri 13. May 2005 22:11 ]
Post subject: 
Ef konan þín fitnar mikið yfir t.d jólin,

þá seigiru henni að fara að labba 3km á morgnana og 3km á kvöldin.
svo eftir viku er feita svínið komið 42 km í burtu frá þér :)

þennan sagði verkstjórinn minn mér í kvöld :)
Author:  Bjarkih [ Sun 15. May 2005 21:04 ]
Post subject: 
Smá viðbót ;-)

RULES THAT GUYS WISHED GIRLS KNEW.....

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. It can't be altered so just let it be.
7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, shortstops, and carburettors.
8. Shopping is not a sport.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really!
10. You have enough clothes.
11. You have too many shoes.
12. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
13. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will mark anniversaries on a calendar.
14. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometime.
15. Most guys own 2 or 3 pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair out of 30 would look good with your dress ??
16. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers.
17. A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. see a doctor.
18. Your mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
19. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
20. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
21. If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.
22. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
23. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both.
24. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
25. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
Author:  grettir [ Sun 15. May 2005 21:31 ]
Post subject: 
:D

Og smá í viðbót, fimmtán atriði sem þú átt aldrei eftir að heyra frá konunni:

1) God! You are so stressed out! Let me give you a blowjob.
2) There is too much food at home. Lets just bring beer.
3) I think you should go out drinking with your friends. You deserve it.
4) What a great fart!! Fart again please!
5) I know it is tight back there, but I think you should try again.
6) Don't worry. I will change the oil, check the tires, and put some gas in your car.
7) Honey, come see... The neighbor's daughter is wearing just her panties.
8) Don't worry... I will swallow.
9) Why don't you forget about Valentines day and get something just for you.
10) Let's sign up for the porn channel?
11) What do you think about us doing something with that hot girlfriend of mine?
12) Finished? You should just go to sleep now.
13) The guys from the office just called from the strip club. You should go now.
14) Hmmmmm... This smell of beer makes me so horny.
15) Don't worry about money... I just want your love!
Author:  Bjarkih [ Wed 25. May 2005 21:32 ]
Post subject: 
Types of Women

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your
four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you
will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............
Author:  BMWaff [ Thu 26. May 2005 01:18 ]
Post subject: 
Þetta kom mér í gott skap :D hehe
Author:  pallorri [ Fri 03. Jun 2005 00:30 ]
Post subject: 
Hahahahah
ég hló virkilega yfir mörgum hlutum þarna :lol:
Author:  Bjarkih [ Sat 18. Jun 2005 21:59 ]
Post subject: 
Enn önnur viðbót:

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never
be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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