bmwkraftur.is

Drengur! Í alvöru? Kryfja brandara?

hahahahah

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vti

Part Out Your Honda
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:36:00
From Timmy Tucker to ************@***********.org

Hi,

I saw your ad for the Honda Accord. I will give you $200 for the alternator and driver side door.

Let me know if you are interested,

Tim

From Josh ******** to Me

im not parting out the car. it is $6000 for the whole thing.

From Timmy Tucker to Josh ********

Can't you just sell me the door and alternator and then sell the car for $5800?

From Josh ******** to Me

who the fuck would want to buy a car without a door and alternator?

From Timmy Tucker to Josh ********

You could sell it as a Honda Accord "Jeep Wrangler" addition, built for offroading without the doors, just like a Jeep. Instead of saying the alternator was removed, say the car was modified to help the environment.

From Josh ******** to Me

thats fucking retarded. how about you go to a junk yard

From Timmy Tucker to Josh ********

How about I go to your yard, Josh ********, and fucking take everything off your car while you sleep.

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E39 530D ///M Sport

Það er svo gaman að rugla í ykkur.

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What do fat chicks and scooters have in common? They're both fun to ride until your friends see you doing it.

Dr Morten,,,,,,,,,,,

Stúdentar í læknisfræði við “Læknar án landamæra-háskólann” í Alta eru að fá sína fyrstu kennslustund í krufningu með alvöru líki.
Byrjað yrði á grunnatriðum eins og að greina dánarstund viðkomandi, kanna hitastig, og utanaðkomandi meiðsli, og svo framvegis.
Þeir komu sér allir saman í kringum skurðarborðið þar sem líkið lá undir hvítu laki. Síðan byrjar Doktor Morten kennsluna:
"Í læknavísindunum er nauðsynlegt að hafa tvo kosti” þrumar hann yfir nemana, “Sá fyrri er að maður má ekki láta neitt vekja upp hjá sér viðbjóð."
Hann tekur síðan lakið af líkinu, stingur puttanum á kaf í rassinn á því og sýgur síðan puttann. "Núna vil ég að þið gerið slíkt hið sama!"
Stúdentarnir fengu áfall, en hikandi byrjuðu þeir að stinga puttanum upp í rassinn á líkinu og sjúga síðan puttann.
Þegar allir voru búnir, segir dr Morten: "Seinni kosturinn er athygli. Ég setti löngutöng inn, en saug vísifingur. Fylgjast með, gott fólk..fylgjast með."

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Enginn bíll!

Hahahaha, NASTY

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A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . . ..
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home
drunk he beats me to a pulp...."
Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes
home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it.
Just gargle and gargle".

2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.
Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk
I gargled with chamomile tea and gargled and nothing happened.

Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!

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Mazda2 '15
Mercedes Benz 300E 4Matic '89
enginn BMW í augnablikinu

Einn sem ég stal af smettinu.

Ashley Cole was caught doing 104mph in a 50mph zone. When questioned by police as to why he was speeding he said, "l've just heard John Terry is parked outside my house

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her..
She asks him why he is staring. He replies: ''I have a question to ask,but I don't want to offend you.''
She answers: '' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have,
you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.''
''Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.''
She responds, ''Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.''
The cab driver is very excited and says: ''Yes, I'm single and Catholic!''
''OK'' the nun says, ''Pull into the next alley.''
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
''My dear child'' said the nun, ''Why are you crying?''
''Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm married and I'm Jewish.''
The nun says, ''That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.''

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Mazda2 '15
Mercedes Benz 300E 4Matic '89
enginn BMW í augnablikinu

A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The old man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Aren't you afraid of me? Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

"Yep, " was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope."

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

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Danni
Mercedes Benz Viano 2.2cdi 2003 "Langferðabíllinn"
Audi A6 1.8 1999 "garmurinn"
Enginn BMW

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath.
One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there.
They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little 'Oral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.'
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.
The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.
The nurses run back into the room and helped her to get breathing again. 'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'

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Mazda2 '15
Mercedes Benz 300E 4Matic '89
enginn BMW í augnablikinu

HAMAR: Þessi er alveg bara ljótur

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BMW E30 328i Coupe

HAMAR: Þessi er með þeim betri hérna!!

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E30 '86 325 M50 Powered

Smá svartur húmor

Why did the leper fail his driving test ? He left his foot on he clutch.

What is a lepers favourite rock-and-roll song ? Footloose

What's the definition of a skeleton ? A leper in a wind tunnel.

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Enginn bíll eins og er.