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http://www.jumbojoke.com/
I'm not sure about the "actual" bit, since it has been attributed to the U.S. Air Force, United Airlines, Quantas Airlines, and more.
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Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses:
P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed
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Bjarki Hilmarsson
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E34 520iA '90 --seldur--
E34 540 6 spd manual Touring '96 -- seldur
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BMW 525i e34 '91 
Opel Vectra CD 2.0 '97
